![]() ![]() The old refectory is the restaurant, the cellars the music room, the salon gothique the smoking room. Inside : spiral staircases, vaulted sandstone arches, ornamental wrought-iron door-handles, individually-carved wooden wall-panels, porcelain sinks, gold taps, crystal chandeliers, a huge fireplace just right for roasting that troublesome outsized boar. ![]() This is a hotel so posh that it has another, slightly-less- posh hotel in its grounds. The sauna and Jacuzzi and tennis courts and other such crass attractions are discreetly hidden from view. The heliport lurks just to the left of the abbey’s “existential mystery”, in the shade of its “timeless magic”. The 65-hectare grounds are dotted with crumbling cloisters, supernatural fountains, eerie towers, secret tunnels and the ghostly (taped) chants of cowled monks. L’Abbaye Des Vaux De Cernay is a twelfth-century abbey that has been converted into a luxury hotel complex. It was her record company that was picking up the not-insubstantial tab. It had been her idea to start drinking champagne and cherry liqueur - Kir Royale - that afternoon. It was her that wanted to go outside and dance underneath the moonlight. Not deliberately or accidentally or even actually but, well, she was there.
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